Aruba Ariba!

What a NIBL week!

Aruba flirted with history in their 414-290 victory over Cap City. The Thong's tally of 414 nibls was the second highest score ever recorded in NIBL history. Last year Rip City shocked the NIBL with a record 429 nibls in week 6 on the back of Antwan Jamison's amazing 144 nibl week.

Aruba seemingly had the game in the bag, yet head Thong-ster, Bill Krieger, refused to call off the dogs. Paul Pierce closed the deal with a 66 nibl afternoon on Saturday. This inflamed what many in the NIBL feel is the league's most heated and hated rivalry.

"Sure, we'll remember that when they visit Cap City," said Tool owner Johnny Raimondo. "But everyone in the league knows that Krieger wouldn't know class or ethics if they slapped him on the ass. He's a jaggedy little poser. No one in the league can stand him."

Responding to the vitriol, owner Krieger was emphatic, "Cheat? Cheat! You know, I love Cap City. The guy hasn't won a thing, and yet the mouth is always moving. Yap yap yap... he's like a little dog yapping all the time. Well, I guess my boys rolled up the newspaper and smacked Chihuahua-boy pretty good, eh. And you can write it down... we'll crush them in Cap City, the next time we play them."

Tempers flared in the Western Conference as well. Diablo Danny backed his bombastic poetry, barely, by beating West Chicago by 3 nibls, 285-282. West Chicago owner Don Fenton, who was already inflamed over the laser-guided haiku finally boiled over, "You know, I don't really mind losing by three. Shit, Francis is out... you know, whatever. I don't even mind Danny's retarded poetry. What gets me is Krieger. What kind of commissioner puts that crap on the front page of the NIBL site. Well, I'll tell you... I don't even consider him commish. To me, he's just a jaggedy little poser."

The other squeaker du jour of the week was Rip City's 249-247 win over Elk Grove. Elk Grove's woes continue, and the Cougars must be counting the days until they can play even more hapless Nashville. A dejected Elk Grove owner, Moz Krieger, said "Huh?"

East beats West?

An interesting dichotomy is forming. The Eastern Conference appears to be much stronger than the West. Three teams in the East (Aruba, DuPage, Manila) are averaging more than 300 nibls per game, compared only one team in the West (Seattle). Aruba is off to a hot (and unsustainable?) 340 nibl per game start.

The average score of the top 6 teams in each conference is also illuminating. The top six teams in the East are averaging 307 nibls per, and their counterparts in the West average just 290 nibls a contest.

Nashville Schmashville

I have tried numerous times to contact Nashville to no avail. Nashville actually has a decent team, but have been incommunicado since the draft and have not altered their lineup to adjust for injuries. When C-Web comes back, they'll have C-Web, Mike Miller and Chris Mihm on the bench.

So, assuming no further contact, I would like to propose that the league (well, me) monitor Nashville's lineup starting in week 11. We finish the first round of intra-conference games after week 10, and instead of Nashville getting zero after zero, I'll insert their best, non-injured lineup each week (first two games) starting then.

Any objections? After week 10, we all play Nashville once, so I don't think this plan is unfair to anyone. Let me know if you think this is bogus.

yow, bill

PS - Jamaal-Tinsley-o-meter: 54 nibls last week... and headed lower?!?!