Scattershooting About the Future of Our Republic and Fantasy Basketball League

Nov 20, 2000... Eric Schoonver

Is this what we are coming to...?

Serbian president Vojislav Kostunica deployed more than 30,000 peacekeeping troops to the U.S. Monday, pledging full support to the troubled North American nation as it struggles to establish democracy.

"We must do all we can to support free elections in America and allow democracy to gain a foothold there," Kostunica said. "The U.S. is a major player in the Western Hemisphere and its continued stability is vital to Serbian interests in that region."

Kostunica urged Al Gore, the U.S. opposition-party leader who is refusing to recognize the nation's Nov. 7 election results, to "let the democratic process take its course." "Mr. Gore needs to acknowledge the will of the people and concede that he has lost this election," Kostunica said. "Until America's political figures learn to respect the institutions that have been put in place, the nation will never be a true democracy."

Serbian forces have been stationed throughout the U.S., with an emphasis on certain trouble zones. Among them are Oregon, Florida, and eastern Tennessee, where Gore set up headquarters in Bush territory. An additional 10,000 troops are expected to arrive in the capital city of Washington, D.C. by Friday.

Though Kostunica has pledged to work with U.S. leaders, he did not rule out the possibility of economic sanctions if the crisis is not resolved soon. "For democracy to take root and flourish, it must be planted in the rich soil of liberty. And the cornerstone of liberty is elections free of tampering or corruption," Kostunica said. "Should America prove itself incapable of learning this lesson on its own, the international community may be forced to take stronger measures."

On Another Front...

The AP has learned that all is not well in the NIBL. The NIBL, or Naperville Invitational Basketball League, is under fire from one of it's members for distributing "Butterfly Statistics" during the recent League Selection Meeting (draft). Napa Valley Tasters owner Eric "don't call me Al Gore" Schoonover stated in a press conference that during the first round of the draft he was confused, due to fact that the statistics passed out by the undemocratically appointed NIBL kommisars were misleading and confusing, causing him to pick Jason Kidd instead of Gary Payton. "The first sheet ended, another started....they were smoking and making fun of me," said the Taster's owner. He added, "because the sheets were confusing, I picked Jason Kidd instead of Gary Payton."

When asked to comment on the allegations, self-appointed NIBL spokesman William Kreiger stated, "he's frickin' 3 - 0 for gosh sakes." Schoonover had not stated if he has any plans for asking for a re-draft until he loses a game.

And finally....almost...

I sincerely hope everyone is learning about the importance of participating in the political business of our country from this election spectacle. No matter what side you are on, what your political views are, we must shed our apathy and begin to speak out for what we believe. Good strong political debate int his country has all but eroded into name calling and innuendo; we listen to what the talking heads tell us and take it as Gospel. Let's all begin making our voices heard by participating in the politics of our land, standing up for what we believe in, and begin making a difference in the kind of city, county, state and country we reside. Freedom is eroded every day we keep silent and "let" things happen to us!

And finally....

Is it too early to ask for everyone to concede?

Happy Thanksgiving to all!!!!

TAG...DOGEATERS!