NIBL 2001...
details, details
Oct 20, 2000... Bill
Krieger
Quote of the Day
"People
don't fear me because they know that I have the
monkeys...
They fear me
because they know I'll let the monkeys loose."
- Crazy old man,
Kids in the Hall
Draft Order
Here's the draft order for NIBL
2001 (complete with editorial comments from yours truly):
| # |
Team |
Owner |
Record |
| 1 |
Elk Grove Cougars |
Moz Krieger |
0-22 |
| |
Easily the most brutal
season in NIBL history (shit, even
Bolingbrook was only 0-13 in 1999). Half
of the Elk Grove ownership group has sold
their rights to this struggling franchise
and Moz is on his own. The Cougar losing
may be the only force more powerful than
Shaq. |
| |
|
| 2 |
Aruba Thong |
Bill Krieger |
6-16 |
| |
The once-mighty Thong
went from the the best overall record in
the NIBL and consecutive playoff
appearances to picking second in this
year's draft. Dop. Betchya Hakeem is a
Thong again next year. |
| |
|
| 3 |
Vegas Vermin |
Tom Dieboldt |
6-16 |
| |
Another disappointing
season for Vegas, not that that's news.
The Vermin were shamed last season with
the worst non-Krieger team in the NIBL.
Ack. |
| |
|
| 4 |
Shakopee Shysters |
Steve Tucker |
8-14 |
| |
Three seasons in three
different locations (Santa Fe, Sioux
City, Shakopee), this franchise has never
had a winning record in the NIBL. Steve's
solution... move again. |
| |
|
| 5 |
Four Lakes Bolts |
Bill Sullivan |
9-13 |
| |
A disastrous freshman
season has Four Lakes vowing revenge.
Seems unlikely. |
| |
|
| 6 |
Shorewood Scepters |
Jack & Shell
Evans |
10-12 |
| |
The Shorewood
husband-wife ownership team has been
inconsistent. Rumor has it that this year
they will only draft NBA players that
smoke. Dragon Tarlac here we come! Should
be another lottery year for the Scepter. |
| |
|
| 7 |
Napa Valley
Tasters |
Eric Schoonover |
11-11 |
| |
The Vegas line on Napa
is that they over-achieved. Expect a
losing season in 2001, and Eric will look
back fondly on when he was 500... well,
at least for one year. |
| |
|
| 8 |
Capital City Tools |
John Raimondo |
12-10 |
| |
Cap City is obsessed
with drafting white guys... and losing.
Look for more of the same in 2001. At
least Johnny Rai can talk to Denise and
Danny about what it's like to win. |
| |
|
| 9 |
Walla Walla
BoardBangers |
Bailey Brothers |
14-8 |
| |
Walla always seem to be
in the playoff hunt. Secretive and aloof,
the Bailey Boys are the NIBL's version of
Jerry Krause. While the Bailey's combined
weight equals Krause, they still trail
"Crumbs" by about 6
championships. |
| |
|
| 10 |
West Chicago
WifeBeaters |
Don Fenton Jr |
15-7 |
| |
Last year's requirement
that you draft your own team did in the
Beaters. West Chicago does own the NIBL's
best record over the last three years...
look for that to change. |
| |
|
| 11 |
Unknown??? |
Rob Triol |
newbie! |
| |
The only freshman in the
NIBL class of 2001. Why do I get the
feeling that Rob will be drafting higher
than 12th next year? |
| |
|
| 12 |
Harlem Emeralds |
Deon Creal |
returnie! |
| |
Remember the Emeralds?
Yeah, we all beat Deon's crew into
submission back in 1998 all the way to a
4-17 record. After two seasons of deep
meditation, Deon is ready to jump back
into the fray. |
| |
|
| 13 |
Joliet Jammers |
Tim Herring |
16-6 |
| |
Joliet is a perennial
power, and it's just a matter of before
Joliet's name appears on the coveted NIBL
plaque. Tim's secret: only drafts players
that are cool. |
| |
|
| 14 |
Cancun Cleavage |
Denise Klisz |
17-5 |
| |
Cancun shocked the East
with her stunning debut season. Time and
gravity will catch up with this Cleavage,
as it always does. |
| |
|
| 15 |
Manila DogEaters |
Denise Raimondo |
15-7 |
| |
I know it's ugly, but
face it... the DogEaters are the cream at
the top of the NIBL. No reason to expect
that to change as Denise uses her
patented hearts, diamonds and clovers
draft system onward to another playoff
year. Of course, sleeping with one of the
commissioners can't hurt either. |
| |
|
| 16 |
Diablo Spawn |
Daniel W Bruessel |
16-6 |
| |
Congrats to Danny... the
first man to win the NIBL title. Not to
disrespect our reigning champion, but can
you say fluke! Can Danny spell fluke? No
mo' Shaq. No mo' Kobe. No mo' Diablo. |
|
Only One Newbie
As you can see, we have one newbie
this year (heaven forbid, league ownership turnover
settle down), and almost everyone (minus Santa Fe) from
last year is back! Our newbie, Rob Triol, is a good
friend of the NIBL. He's a very successful hairdresser,
is quite attractive and has a wonderfully large chest. Oh
wait... that's his wife. Rob's OK, too. He's from
Portland, so take it easy on him.
As I said, we lost one team this
year, Santa Fe. BJ Tucker is on maternity leave. As Steve
tucker's son, BJ is shockingly handsome... must be from
his mother's side of the family. Anyway, maternity is
only half of BJ's problems... he also got married this
summer. This whole deal makes BJ's woeful 10-12 season
seem like a picnic!
Even More Draft Info
Be there:
| NIBL 2001 Player Draft Saturday Oct 28, 2000 at
9:00am
Bill's house again
|
Also,
here's a preliminary roster of draftable NBA players. As
always, pay close attention to the position(s) assigned
to a player because you can only play guys at their
assigned positions. Enjoy:
Formatted NBA
rosters ( NBA 2001 Roster
)
Raw text file,
useful for spreadsheets ( nba_players.txt )
Please please please
let me know if you find any omissions or errors in the
player lists.
See ya.
yow, bill
|