"Shit, I'm on MTV!"

March 26, 2000... Bill Krieger

Spring Break

Oh yeah, the page's title... Bill Krieger's on spring break this week with his 16 year-old daughter, "Shit, I'm on MTV!"

So... No boxscore updates or email replies from the NIBL galactic headquarters until Saturday. Of course, you can click on the "Game" link to www.nba.com in each boxscore to keep track of your scores until the update.

Quote of the Day

"This sort of thing has cropped up before,

and it has always been due to human error."

- Hal 9000, "2001: A Space Odyssey"

Enough Jabbering

Well, I have been implored by some owners (Manila) to stop with the jabbering and comment on the NIBL games and playoff races. OK... excuse me, but it's a little hard to see all the way up to the first place teams from where my current Aruba squad stands... but I'll give it a shot.

First, the East... or should I say the more feminine conference. We (you know, all us manly men in the NIBL) can only hope that Cap City can catch the estrogen-powered juggernauts that are Cancun and Manila. Cap City Johnny's big chance will be week 23 when he plays Cancun... a loss there will probably doom us (us men again) to an all-female (shit, an all-Denise) playoffs in the East. How humiliating... ugh.

The West is a little more interesting... well, a little more. The Diablo Spawn (14-4) are the league's elite team with Shaq and Kobe (does anyone remember Kobe's little pinky injury that allowed him to slip to the end of the 2nd round? Whatever). With four games left (if you count this week's Elk Grove game), Danny hasn't clinched mathematically yet, but shit he's in.

That leaves one spot in the West for ???

Well, this week's Walla Walla (12-7) at Joliet (13-5) contest is huge. The Bailey boys need to win this game, or Joliet Tim looks headed for the playoffs with a two game lead and three to play. If Walla wins, then all bets are off. Joliet, in addition to losing star loser Isaah Rider, has a killer schedule remaining (Walla, West Chicago, Shorewood and Diablow)... yikes!

Walla needs to beat Joliet and then keep winning. The Bangers 3 remaining games are: Joliet, Shorewod and Santa Fe. West Chicago (11-7) needs a Walla victory also, and Don plays Shorewood, Joliet, Diablo, and Elk Grove. How bad does Don want last week's loss to Santa Fe back?

NIBL Pakistan

Thanks to Vegas Tommy for this news update on justice, Pakistani style...

LAHORE, Pakistan (AP) -- A court on Thursday sentenced a Pakistani man to death for murdering 100 children in this country's worst serial killing rampage, saying he would be strangled in front of the parents of his victims.

The judge ordered that 42-year-old Javed Iqbal be publicly executed in a park in this eastern city, suffering the same fate as his victims.

"You will be strangled to death in front of the parents whose children you killed," said Judge Allah Baksh Ranja in handing down the sentence. "Your body will then be cut into a 100 pieces and put in acid the same way you killed the children."

I'd like to send the guy that picked my buster team to Pakistan...

Pro-homo

www.stopdrlaura.com

You may be familiar with Shakopee Steve's fantasy football league, the UFFL. Well, Vegas Tommy and I run a little team in that league called the Rockford RumpHumpers. "The Hump", as we are affectionately known, is the best team in the UFFL (the highest all-time winning percentage that is). We are also the league's most outspoken proponent for gay rights. Anyway, here's a site dedicated to stopping hateful speech toward people simply because of their race, color, creed, religion or sexual orientation... check it out.

www.stopdrlaura.com

yow, bill

PS - Reminder #1: You have to play all the active/healthy players on your team at least once during the regular season. I will start publishing a list of players that need to be played next week, eh.

PPS - Reminder #2: I still need NIBL Notes from Manila Denise, Napa Eric, Four Lakes Sully, Vegas Tommy, and Santa Fe BJ (I knew a girl once named "Woodridge BJ", but that's another story). C'mon weeners!