Diablo's
Draft-2K Analysis
Danny Bruessel... May 7,
1999
Hola, from sunny Diablo, CA,
Here's some info on something us non-playoff teams
care about:
THE 2000 NIBL DRAFT
I looked through records and spent countless
seconds figuring out next year's draft order, 'n' it goes
a li'l sumpin' like dis, hit it. (unless teams drop out
or something like that occurs.)
1.When you don't win a game all season, at
least we'll give you first pick, unless the
commisioners decide to penalize you for lack of
calling in lineups-the first pick goes to-THE
BOLINGBROOK BIG-HOPS.
2.OUCH, OUCH, OUCH. For second pick, it
has to go to the team that was decimated by injuries
and trades, my uncle Steve-THE SIOUX CITY SALSA.
3.When you are a non-playoff team and you
wallop the league hated West Chicago Women you will
be handsomely rewarded with a high pick. That
goes to me-THE DIABLO SPAWN.(quick question-why did I
take Sprewell and Jayson Williams so frickin' high in
the draft?)
4.Ditto about the women. West Chicago's
biggest rival. Although Walla just looks at them like
a bunch of bustahs, next pick-WALLA WALLA BOARD
BANGERS.
5&6. Although they had an even record, it
came down to tie breaker #1. Head to
head. THE SHOREWOOD SCEPTERS lost, so they get
5th, and the strangest smack talkers in the league
get 6th-THE MATUNUCK BREAKERS.
7. Happy Mother's Day. Your gift-A good
shot at Kevin Garnett. My beloved Mother gets 7th
pick-THE MANILA DOG EATERS.
8,9&10. My favorite cousin-in-law goes 0-2
against the next two teams so THE LAS VEGAS VERMIN
get the 8th spot. THE BAGHDAD CROSS-DRESSERS go
1-1 and secure their spot at number 9(He's the one
that Knocked my mom out of the playoffs). And THE
JOLIET DURTY-BYRDS pulled a coop and flew your coup
into the ten spot(MTV don't sue us).
If Elk Grove breaks into two seperate
entities, the team that does not retain the Elk Grove
name gets the 11th spot, if we have 16 teams.
The 12th spot goes to a lucky new-comer(fresh
meat).
THE ARUBA THONGS, CAPITAL CITY TOOLS, ELK
GROVE COUGARS, AND WEST CHICAGO WOMEN will split the
last four picks based upon playoff performance.
the 13th pick goes to the playoff loser with the
worst record, the 14th goes to the second playoff
loser, the 15th goes to the championship series
loser, and finally the champs get the last pick.
SEE YA NEXT SEASON-THE DIABLO SPAWN.
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