Rockford RumpHumpers

Humpie Predictions: Week 4 and Beyond

Sep 21, 2000

A jolly week 4 "yoo-hoo" from the friendliest team in the UFFL... the MIGHTY Rockford RumpHumpers.

I know what your saying: "Mighty? Dudes, you're 0-3 this year" Well, our current 0-3 record, growing injury list (5 of our top ten picks), flailing polish kicker, Steeler QB dynmaic duo and tenderized Patty QB may deceive some of you... that's why we're corresponding.

Predictions:

Prediction #1:

The MIGHTY Hump will obliterate Bolingbrook this week!

Prediction #2:

The Hump will win the rest of their games en route to a 14-3 Mother-Bowl winning season!

"No way!" "How?" "Impossible!" No, my tiny friends... read on!

Man of the Month

Our man of the week this month is... Mike Anderson of the Denver Broncos! Here's a picture of this handsome humpy hunk:

Mike is the leading scorer amongst the Hump's many excellent position players. And, as a non-fantasy side note, he also leads the NFL in rushing and passing after only two games. Mike is an ex-marine, and his hobbies are interior decorating and modern dance. His turn-ons include surfing the web without pants (oh, I agree) and over-rated fantasy football teams (Madison, Boston, Tempe). Mike's turn-offs are McElmo and the NY Giants. Mike is a pitcher.

Thank you Mike.

Today's Top Ten List

We predict that the Hump will win their remaining games this season. I also humbly present (drum roll)...

Top Ten Predictions for the Rest of this Season

10.	UFFL rule change counts Mike Anderson and Terrell Davis as one player in the Hump's lineup
9.	Bolingbrook Tim changes moniker to "Best of the Rest" after his thrashing by the Hump in week 4
8.	After a severe humping, BJ and Ian try to sell their team (Santa Fe) on ebay
7.	Speaking of ebay, Steve buys two dozen pink spandex jumpsuits online at a "real good price", changes team name to the Madison Pinks, and hopes "all this faggy stuff" works for him
6.	Duce Staley doesn't score for the rest of the 2000 NFL season and changes his name to "Douche Staley"
5.	Peoria changes team name to the "Peoria Ragin' RumpHumpees" because it's more appropriate
4.	The Bailey boys lose a bet in their match with the Hump and must show up at the 2001 UFFL draft in thong speedos... yum yum
3.	Bill and Tommy appear on the cover of Blueboy magazine under the headline "Fantasy Boys"
2.	McElmo ups the ante and offers the MIGHTY Hump dinner and a movie
1.	And, of course, "Hump win! Hump win! Hump win!"... 13 times in a row

Finally, how would you like to have your UFFL fees for next year almost waived? Sound good? Well, head to the parent site of the UFFL and the NIBL, www.williamt.com and check our $100 Home Plan challenge. The nitty: improve my new home plan and win $100. For real. Check it out at www.williamt.com

Tim, we love you but you're going down... or is that we love you AND you're going down!

Hump win! Hump win! Hump win!

yow, bill

PS - Oh, speaking of the NIBL, if any of you UFFL hunks are interested in a bitchin' fantasy basketball league, check out the NIBL at www.williamt.com/nibl ... we will probably have an open spot or two... draft is late October. So email me ( williamt@williamt.com ) if you're interested.